Talking With a Child Who May Have Been Abused

Let’s consider how to respond to a potentially abused child and what information is needed:

• Present a calm and soothing manner when talking to the child. (You may be upset by what’s happening, but showing that won’t help the child or the process.)
• Listen. This includes being prepared to wait quietly while the child responds.
• Be supportive.
• Don’t make any statements that may suggest shame, disbelief, fear, disgust, or blame.
• Don’t ask the youth why they did not report earlier.
• Assure the youth that it was not their fault.
• Assure the youth that you believe them.
• If you can, gently ask basic, specific, and open-ended questions, such as…
• Name, address and phone number of the victim.
• Name, address and phone number of the offender.
• Relationship with the offender (e.g. family member, leader, family friend)
• Location of the abuse.
• Nature of the abuse (e.g. physical, emotional, sexual)
• Date and time of the abuse.
• Whether anyone else knows of the abuse.
• If possible, write down the details.